PARENTS: LESS IS BETTER

When Growth Looks Like Quiet, Not Progress

If you’re wondering whether you’re doing “enough,” try asking yourself this instead:

Am I creating safety or pressure?

Am I offering guidance or control?

Am I helping or interrupting?

Sometimes the most supportive thing we can do is say nothing at all. and STAY.

Today I watched another youth lesson from the sidelines.

Not as a coach.

Not as a fixer.

Not as the voice calling out what could be better.

Just as a steady presence.

And I was reminded of something we don’t talk about enough in youth sports, classrooms, or homes:

Growth doesn’t always look like improvement.

Sometimes it looks like quiet.

The Old Version of Me Would Have Stepped In

There was a time when silence made me uncomfortable.

If a child struggled, I wanted to help.

If they failed, I wanted to explain.

If they looked frustrated, I wanted to solve it for them.

I believed involvement meant engagement.

I believed direction meant leadership.

I believed love meant fixing.

But what I didn’t understand yet was this:

Too much input can interrupt a child’s ability to listen to themselves.

What I’ve Learned by Saying Less

Over time…through teaching, coaching, parenting, and my own healing.

I started to notice something:

THIS! TRUST!

I teach at a special services high school and it works in school, with sports and at home.

When adults step back just enough, kids step forward.

They begin to:

• process mistakes internally

• regulate their own emotions

• build trust in their instincts

• take ownership of their growth

This doesn’t mean we disappear.

It means we hold space instead of control.

Silence Is Not Neglect — It’s Trust

One of the most powerful things we can communicate to a child is:

“I trust you to figure this out.”

That trust shows up in quiet car rides.In cheering without correcting.In letting the coach coach.In letting the child speak first.

And yes—sometimes that quiet feels uncomfortable.

Especially for those of us raised in environments where love was loud, urgent, or conditional.

But quiet can be safe.Quiet can be regulating.Quiet can be growth.

A TCP Reflection

Teach:

Learning sticks when students feel trusted, not managed.

Coach:

Athletes perform better when they are allowed to fail without fear of immediate correction.

Parent:

Connection deepens when children feel heard not evaluated.

Takeaway for Today

If you’re wondering whether you’re doing “enough,” try asking yourself this instead:

Am I creating safety or pressure?

Am I offering guidance or control?

Am I helping or interrupting?

Sometimes the most supportive thing we can do is say nothing at all.

And stay.