Bull in the ring

When my son was 12, he was the strongest and fiercest football player among his peers. The jealousy from his coaches, whose sons lacked his strength, height, or competitive edge, became apparent through their words and actions. They unjustly punished him by placing him in the middle of a ring, where he endured head trauma from blindside hits from other players. This was the first time he came home in tears, openly expressing his sadness to us. He was later subjected to name-calling, such as being labeled "poison." We promptly removed him from the team and enrolled him in a better organization. The coach later admitted to his own struggles, including PTSD, which offered some insight but did not aid my son's recovery. This experience highlighted the issue of allowing parents to volunteer as coaches without addressing their personal issues. This wasn't my first encounter as a parent; I've seen similar situations in softball, basketball, and volleyball. Motivated by these experiences, I began researching shame and wrote a book titled "Naive Perceptions," coming soon. As a mother of five children all ranging from youth sports to currently playing college sports, I see it everywhere: in the stands, from the coaches, and even some of my friends who have no idea they are even parenting their children from a place of shame. My goal is to share the impact of unresolved adult shame on young athletes and to drive change, finding solutions to improve youth sports. He went on and connected with a mentor and conditioning coach who built him back up, and by 8th grade, he was named to the Under Armour All-America team.